District 9 is awesome. I just thought I ought to say that. I would pay serious money to have one of those giant mechs, even if I could only use it to give out ice cream.
Now that I'm getting published, I'm being introduced to the wonderful world of rights and contracts. Someone needs to make a pocket-primer on what these things mean. First serial, second serial, sub-license, electronic rights, etc. These terms mean all sorts of things, and they can be interpreted so many different ways. Does electronic mean anything electronic, or just electronic words? It'd be nice if either each magazine could have a standardized checkbox of what rights they are purchasing, sort of like nutrition facts.
I've been blogging less lately, because I've been doing some experimental writing. Trying to do something in a different direction than what I've been writing before. It's a fan fiction, so there's no real pressure, so I can write what I feel like and not feel like I need to perform to the contemporaries of the genre. I won't tell you what it is, but I'll give you hint: my wife just had a baby by C-section, and it was a long six weeks.
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Status Update
Mermaid Story is going *swimmingly* (I wish I could say that's the last time I'd be using that pun, but... I'd be lying). The words are coming fast, and the story is unfolding well. My only worry is that I'm overwriting. Also, at the pace I'm going, it's going to be quite a while before I'm finished with the first draft. I'm too scared to look at my word count, so I'm not sure how much I'm pumping out per day. But it feels like I'm producing a lot.
It feels like I'm getting stories accepted everywhere. Thicker Than Water (Vampire Family Story) is in Inwood Indiana, Fairy Kingdom is in Sorcerous Signals (with an awesome cover picture!), and it's looking good for Playable Character to get into two others. Playable Character is popping off the charts. And it's an idea I had, like, a million years ago. I wish I'd written it sooner, it probably would have been more fresh and innovative.
Alexa still won't sleep. She won't even develop a pattern. I have no hope for that kid (j/k).
No bites on Black Hole Son yet. Not even close--Seven rejections/response time expirations so far. But I've still got a lot of agents to go. I haven't even reached the non-ALA members yet.
And I'm trying to write some more short fiction in the white spaces between. This is just for experimentation, seeing how to write certain things. Nothing to be published, but I will be getting feedback.
And I'm playing Bioshock again as um... research. Yeah that's it.
The big question is, what new game will I get next? Bioshock 2 or Left 4 Dead 2? Questions, questions. (and when will I ever get to play it?)
It feels like I'm getting stories accepted everywhere. Thicker Than Water (Vampire Family Story) is in Inwood Indiana, Fairy Kingdom is in Sorcerous Signals (with an awesome cover picture!), and it's looking good for Playable Character to get into two others. Playable Character is popping off the charts. And it's an idea I had, like, a million years ago. I wish I'd written it sooner, it probably would have been more fresh and innovative.
Alexa still won't sleep. She won't even develop a pattern. I have no hope for that kid (j/k).
No bites on Black Hole Son yet. Not even close--Seven rejections/response time expirations so far. But I've still got a lot of agents to go. I haven't even reached the non-ALA members yet.
And I'm trying to write some more short fiction in the white spaces between. This is just for experimentation, seeing how to write certain things. Nothing to be published, but I will be getting feedback.
And I'm playing Bioshock again as um... research. Yeah that's it.
The big question is, what new game will I get next? Bioshock 2 or Left 4 Dead 2? Questions, questions. (and when will I ever get to play it?)
Monday, February 01, 2010
I'm on Sorcerous Signals!
Fairy Kingdom is now on Sorcerous Signals. Go read it! It's only a page long, so you have no excuse.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
New Year's Resolutions
You know what I get sick of? New Year's Resolutions.
Mostly because I read a lot of writer blogs. Why do people do this? Am I the only one who doesn't? I guess it's because a new year has come in, people treat it as a new beginning.
In January, everybody talks about their New Year's Resolutions in regard to writing. They're full of crap inspirational sayings and "go for it" attitudes, trying to encourage the wannabes who read the blog to snag that golden ring. And then they always engage the reader by asking how their doing with their resolutions, like they give a crap.
Guess how much you're going to hear about this in February? NOTHING. By March, everyone has forgotten what they resolved to do, let alone how far they got in it. Humans are the only one who celebrate benchmarks with bells and whistles--birthdays, new year's, anniversaries (both work and marriage). Nature doesn't care. It just keeps rolling along. And there is no such thing as a good time or bad time to start a new tree, or blow a volcano, or blow a gentle wind across the ocean. It just does it. If it works at that time, great. If it doesn't, it tries again sometime later, when it's ready.
Writing should be a natural thing. Cultivated, yes, but naturally flowing. Forcing a resolution or something like NaNoWriMo just produces unnatural shit, like Chucky or those things in Alien. Don't do it. Be yourself and flow with the nature of your writing.
Mostly because I read a lot of writer blogs. Why do people do this? Am I the only one who doesn't? I guess it's because a new year has come in, people treat it as a new beginning.
In January, everybody talks about their New Year's Resolutions in regard to writing. They're full of crap inspirational sayings and "go for it" attitudes, trying to encourage the wannabes who read the blog to snag that golden ring. And then they always engage the reader by asking how their doing with their resolutions, like they give a crap.
Guess how much you're going to hear about this in February? NOTHING. By March, everyone has forgotten what they resolved to do, let alone how far they got in it. Humans are the only one who celebrate benchmarks with bells and whistles--birthdays, new year's, anniversaries (both work and marriage). Nature doesn't care. It just keeps rolling along. And there is no such thing as a good time or bad time to start a new tree, or blow a volcano, or blow a gentle wind across the ocean. It just does it. If it works at that time, great. If it doesn't, it tries again sometime later, when it's ready.
Writing should be a natural thing. Cultivated, yes, but naturally flowing. Forcing a resolution or something like NaNoWriMo just produces unnatural shit, like Chucky or those things in Alien. Don't do it. Be yourself and flow with the nature of your writing.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
I Am An Idiot, And You May Comment On That
Okay, it has been brought to my attention that the reason I have written 325 posts and not received a single comment is because the comments are turned off. I guess all those toolbars at the bottom I see fooled me. So now they're turned back on. Comment away--I know nothing about moderation to flood me with you spam links. Go on, I dare you.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Live Blogging Playable Character
Okay, I got to admit. I haven't listened to my own story yet. Too nervous. I'm too afraid if everything went right. I feel like J.M. Barrie in "Finding Neverland". Are they going to like it? Do they care?
I looked at the comments for the post. After a week, it seems most were about the commentary after the story. But that's fine. Of that, four or five comments were thumbs up. The one thumbs down was due to the audience being too "guy factor". That's fine by me. The story is about video games, so guy factor isn't really something I could control. I know girls do play video games, and I'd hoped the MMORPG element would be more gender-accepted. But if I write a space travel story, and someone doesn't like space, that's hardly something to chastize yourself for.
My favorite remark was that it felt original and refreshing. If I can make one original thing in this world, I have accomplished a great deal.
So I decided to try my hand at liveblogging as I listen. And the nice thing is it's free and available, so you can listen along. As I start the podcast, I find myself clapping my hands in delight as they say my name (they even pronounced it right, those nice people).
5:00 They're reading a little slower than I imagined it being. I might have picked up the pace just a smidge if I was reading. Or maybe I read too fast.
10:00 Bolbadir is just like I imagined he'd sound. He is frickin' hilarious. Is it wrong to laugh at your own story? I'm trying not to burst into hysterics at work.
13:11 The Game Judge is not like I imagined. I think he's speaking too robotically and dull. I Imagined him being more snide, like James Woods or Stewie Griffin. I based him on the guy who writes "Bannable Offenses". I thought he's the most dynamic character in the story--not quite a villain, not quite a hero. I wonder if they were trying to make him like the fat LARPer slob, like in "Make Love, Not Warcraft". Kinda disappointed.
15:31 Cyril needs prozac. Or whatever Bolbadir is taking.
16:46 "By the surly beard of Mrifk" is the best line ever.
17:09 How they did Peachbutt is interesting. I didn't think about her speaking in a "robo-demon" voice. I never considered her speaking like that--I always thought she had a normal voice--but it works. I might have toned it back just for the sake of listenability. But the tone is perfect.
18:36 Bolbadir needs his own series.
23:35 Interesting use of the RMTs. I didn't write them with pidgin-Asian accents. In fact, I didn't want them to. I wanted them to use "American voices" so they would try and fit in, while their poorly translated robot-speak totally negate that. I always thought everyone in the game has the same accent. They always do in most fantasies. In here, they sound like they're using the Jonny Quest villain voice. I hope no one thinks I'm racist.
25:02 I love-love-love the sound effects and music, especially during the PVP versus the RMT. They fit right in.
27:04 "No item to heal his ego." That was good too.
28:56 I should've made the Game Judge more threatening in this scene. And Cyril is too damn whiny for my taste (which is my fault, not the narrator's).
31:57 I hope no one thought the sudden appearance of the hundred party members is bad writing. Because it is.
32:48 Now I regret taking Peachbutt out of the game. I wanted to see more of her. Although "passing up the battle of the century for 'Jazzy Girls'" is a great line.
34:50 I should have been more creative with the spell names, instead of just mixed-up letters. And Wilhelm scream for the win.
38:06 Should have written out what an AOE is. I wonder how non-video game people are reacting to this story. Did I write it so they could enjoy it, or am I going over (under?) their heads?
40:40 I think they did a good job with Bolbadir's sudden disappearance.
42:58 I like the dragon sound effects too. Very intimidating, like I intended.
43:48 I hope I ended it okay. Seemed kind of abrupt to me. But it's about the journey, not the destination.
44:00 Oh god, my voice is so high. I don't even sound human. I sound like one of those transgendered people who you can't tell if he/she's a woman or man on the phone (my dad worked with someone like that).
After listening to it, I see lots of places where I should have revised, made it tighter, fixed some clunky sentences, and generally took out mistakes I wouldn't have made now. Part of the problem when you're an amateur writer is that you're too scared the reader won't know what you see in your head, so you overwrite.
But I can't stop smiling after I've listened to it. I'm so glad they had fun recording it. It really came through. Especially the people playing Bolbadir and Peachbutt. I totally understand his fatigue at the overused cliche video game worlds. But there's no greater compliment than hearing someone approaching your story with "hate" already in mind and changing it. That's a huge obstacle to overcome.
So in conclusion, I couldn't be more pleased with the way The Dunesteef handled "Playable Character", not just because it was my first story, but because they were everything an author wants in a magazine--professional, approachable, and someone who loves what they do. The Dunesteef guys are great. They're funny, they have great rapport with each other, and they talk about interesting things in a casual, approachable way. Everyone should be listening to them.
I looked at the comments for the post. After a week, it seems most were about the commentary after the story. But that's fine. Of that, four or five comments were thumbs up. The one thumbs down was due to the audience being too "guy factor". That's fine by me. The story is about video games, so guy factor isn't really something I could control. I know girls do play video games, and I'd hoped the MMORPG element would be more gender-accepted. But if I write a space travel story, and someone doesn't like space, that's hardly something to chastize yourself for.
My favorite remark was that it felt original and refreshing. If I can make one original thing in this world, I have accomplished a great deal.
So I decided to try my hand at liveblogging as I listen. And the nice thing is it's free and available, so you can listen along. As I start the podcast, I find myself clapping my hands in delight as they say my name (they even pronounced it right, those nice people).
5:00 They're reading a little slower than I imagined it being. I might have picked up the pace just a smidge if I was reading. Or maybe I read too fast.
10:00 Bolbadir is just like I imagined he'd sound. He is frickin' hilarious. Is it wrong to laugh at your own story? I'm trying not to burst into hysterics at work.
13:11 The Game Judge is not like I imagined. I think he's speaking too robotically and dull. I Imagined him being more snide, like James Woods or Stewie Griffin. I based him on the guy who writes "Bannable Offenses". I thought he's the most dynamic character in the story--not quite a villain, not quite a hero. I wonder if they were trying to make him like the fat LARPer slob, like in "Make Love, Not Warcraft". Kinda disappointed.
15:31 Cyril needs prozac. Or whatever Bolbadir is taking.
16:46 "By the surly beard of Mrifk" is the best line ever.
17:09 How they did Peachbutt is interesting. I didn't think about her speaking in a "robo-demon" voice. I never considered her speaking like that--I always thought she had a normal voice--but it works. I might have toned it back just for the sake of listenability. But the tone is perfect.
18:36 Bolbadir needs his own series.
23:35 Interesting use of the RMTs. I didn't write them with pidgin-Asian accents. In fact, I didn't want them to. I wanted them to use "American voices" so they would try and fit in, while their poorly translated robot-speak totally negate that. I always thought everyone in the game has the same accent. They always do in most fantasies. In here, they sound like they're using the Jonny Quest villain voice. I hope no one thinks I'm racist.
25:02 I love-love-love the sound effects and music, especially during the PVP versus the RMT. They fit right in.
27:04 "No item to heal his ego." That was good too.
28:56 I should've made the Game Judge more threatening in this scene. And Cyril is too damn whiny for my taste (which is my fault, not the narrator's).
31:57 I hope no one thought the sudden appearance of the hundred party members is bad writing. Because it is.
32:48 Now I regret taking Peachbutt out of the game. I wanted to see more of her. Although "passing up the battle of the century for 'Jazzy Girls'" is a great line.
34:50 I should have been more creative with the spell names, instead of just mixed-up letters. And Wilhelm scream for the win.
38:06 Should have written out what an AOE is. I wonder how non-video game people are reacting to this story. Did I write it so they could enjoy it, or am I going over (under?) their heads?
40:40 I think they did a good job with Bolbadir's sudden disappearance.
42:58 I like the dragon sound effects too. Very intimidating, like I intended.
43:48 I hope I ended it okay. Seemed kind of abrupt to me. But it's about the journey, not the destination.
44:00 Oh god, my voice is so high. I don't even sound human. I sound like one of those transgendered people who you can't tell if he/she's a woman or man on the phone (my dad worked with someone like that).
After listening to it, I see lots of places where I should have revised, made it tighter, fixed some clunky sentences, and generally took out mistakes I wouldn't have made now. Part of the problem when you're an amateur writer is that you're too scared the reader won't know what you see in your head, so you overwrite.
But I can't stop smiling after I've listened to it. I'm so glad they had fun recording it. It really came through. Especially the people playing Bolbadir and Peachbutt. I totally understand his fatigue at the overused cliche video game worlds. But there's no greater compliment than hearing someone approaching your story with "hate" already in mind and changing it. That's a huge obstacle to overcome.
So in conclusion, I couldn't be more pleased with the way The Dunesteef handled "Playable Character", not just because it was my first story, but because they were everything an author wants in a magazine--professional, approachable, and someone who loves what they do. The Dunesteef guys are great. They're funny, they have great rapport with each other, and they talk about interesting things in a casual, approachable way. Everyone should be listening to them.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
The Books I Read: Oct. - Dec. 09
Wicked by Gregory Maguire
I borrowed this one from my mom, along with the rest of the "His Dark Materials" trilogy. It is a long read, and it reminds me of those early modern literatures that expound a lot of philosophy along with the story (i.e., students go to a coffee shop and wax poetical about the nature of something while nursing the drunken one-night stand they had ). Not that I'm saying the story is pretentious. It's not. But it is long-winded.
The storyline is good and the writing style is quite palatable. It made me feel smart to read this book, even though I was reading it for the pure fantasy and "what happened next/behind the scenes" of The Wizard of Oz. That's the problem with this book. It's got a lot of intelligent messages about art, science, politics, and the nature of evil. Pretty Shakespearean stuff. But it sacrifices the fantastic elements for these dialogues.
Plus, it violates the Wizard of Oz canon, and I can't get past that. You can add stuff to the universe, but you can't change the existing universe. Especially one that's as iconic as the Wizard of Oz. I don't care if you change the 400 other Oz books, you can't change the first one. You cannot say the Winged Monkeys were made through biological alchemy by the Wicked Witch. They were controlled through a magic cap, and created as a wedding gift. The Tin Woodsman was not created the way he was (although Maguire tries to nod towards continuity with this, it fails to incorporate all established canon). The novel can't decide if it's pulling from the book or the movie (look at the witch's appearance) and the final confrontation with Dorothy is all wrong.
These glaring errors pull you out of the story, but most of them don't occur until the end. I'm really not sure whether to recommend this one or not. But for me, I know I don't want to play in this universe again. Maybe wait for the movie-musical in 2011.
The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman
The thickened conclusion to the story of some little kids trying to kill God... but in a good way. It feels like Pullman was trying to pad out the novel here, and time he should have spent wrapping up storylines was spent with meaningless non-obstacles. Will gets drunk on vodka with no consequences. The dimension-skipping knife breaks, only to be easily repaired with no consequences. Going to the land of the dead and freeing everyone, with no consequences to the main plot. It seems Pullman needed space to put in the subplots. It made the story drag out, and it's long enough without the filler.
If it wasn't for the padding, would it still be a good story? I don't know. I guess I didn't really care for this piece, or the trilogy. I felt like I had to read it to find out what happened. I don't know where it went wrong. Maybe it just didn't click with me. Maybe it was too British, maybe it felt too stilted, maybe I couldn't identify with the characters. Ah well, c'est la book.
Fairy Tales by The Brothers Grimm
It's hard to read and repetitive. Every story is a variation of Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, Snow White, or Sleeping Beauty. There's lots of long paragraphs, little dialogue, and the narrative does little to evoke imagination. Everything happens in sets of threes, and I know nothing is going to happen the first two times, so I would just skip to the third.
Every story is the same. Someone goes out into the world to seek fortune, marry someone, or defeat evil. He/she collects some magic artifacts. Something happens based on wordplay or puns. Then he's told not to do something, and inevitably, he does it. Because where would the plot be if anyone actually followed directions? Otherwise we wouldn't have Gremlins. Go see the Disney versions.
The Mermaid's Madness by Jim C. Hines
I was really looking forward to this one, and not just because it dovetails with my own mermaid story. The mermaid fiction that isn't a rehash of The Little Mermaid is few and far between, unless it has more mush or turns mermaids into horrible sea monsters. Before I start let me just say I love me some Jim C. Hines. He's a cool guy and the writer I can most relate to in this world. I like his work.
But the story left me dissatisfied, maybe because my hopes were too high. It's an action-oriented plot, meaning characterization and plot get pushed to the background. There's lots of pirate ship fights, tense trespassings into enemy territory, and hand-to-hand or magic-to-magic combat. That means there's no neat revelations or "oh crap" moments that provoke an emotional reaction and make the plot page turning like The Hunger Games did.
The characters are great, but I wished they had been explored more. And I felt he was padding near the end (maybe because I know he was padding near the end because he wrote it on his blog). Maybe it's just me, but I wanted to see more of the mermaid world. He had a great antagonist--Ariel made into a serial killer--and it looked like he was going to do a good job with her, but then she was reduced to a mewling, muttering straitjacket-wearer huddled up in a tower. Her potential as an enemy ended up largely ignored, and heroes are only as good as their enemies. 3.5 stars.
Makers by Cory Doctorow
Doctorow's latest (free) release steers away from the singularity science-fiction & urban fantasy and returns to base roots--boys with toys. The story chronicles two Makers, people who build random DIY stuff just to see if they can, like a hive of Tickle-Me-Elmos that collectively drive a golf cart. Eventually they create some sort of "ride" that garners worldwide attention, including Disney Parks, who wants to tear them apart, steal their ideas, and sue them to the short-and-curlies. Along the way, Doctorow interjects some singularity elements like drastic weight-loss medical procedures, 3-D printers, and advancements in shantytowns.
I don't think it's as good as Little Brother. There's not as much tension, and the plot meanders. Lord does it meander. The first part, with the boom and bust of the Makers, acts more like a prologue. There's no real unifying goal for the protagonists to achieve (except maybe to be left alone so they can build their things). It's treated more like obstacle, overcome, obstacle, overcome. And the final resolution seems deus ex--the bad guy spontaneously learns the error of his ways and converts. Plus I don't get the "ride". Is it a museum? A fictional exhibit? A sort of play? And some things suffer from "24" disease. It would be nice to see communication and events happen so fast, but I don't think that's realistic.
Don't get me wrong, it's a good book. It and Mermaid's Madness were probably the two best books I read this quarter. But the story is more like a serial than a novel, and I'm no big fan of serials.
Shatnerquake by Jeff Burk
This book was offered for free for one day from Jeff Burk's website. I unfortunately did not get to download it, because I read my blogs in the morning. And by the time I saw it, the offer was already over. So I had to procure this book through... different means (I mean, seriously, one day? Come on).
I'd heard about Shatnerquake from Wil Wheaton, so I was excited to read this. I was surprised at how short it was. It's more of a novelette than a novel. It reads at warp speed. Of course, I don't think it's meant to be taken as serious literature, since the story is about how all of William Shatner's previous roles come to life at a William Shatner convention to attack William Shatner in a devious plot conceived by (wait for it) Bruce Campbell fans.
There's weirdness and there's funness. I think I liked this book, but it was so weird that I'm not sure. There's a lot of Crowning Moments of Awesome, like when James T. Kirk takes out a room of fanboys with a light saber. The only fatal flaw is that it's not very serious. It's a little trashy, and definitely throwaway. I'm reminded of the old days of pulp fiction. This is definitely it. Of course, I want to read more.
Starship Troopers by Robert A. Heinlein
I can't remember why I got this particular book at this particular time from the library. I think I needed some short books because my second daughter was about to born and I didn't want to get into anything epic or long that I might forget about in case I couldn't read it for two weeks. So YA would work. Also, I think I needed to get it quickly and this was on the shelf.
This was not the novel I expected it to be. It's minimal on the action, minimal on the science fiction. It's a lot more like A) essays on militarism and citizenship and B) the story of a man's military career, which doesn't include much combat. There's not much science fiction stuff here, at least nothing plot-centric. It's more on the periphery, with the space stuff, aliens, and some military tech. You could take that out and easily make it a literary novel.
I can definitely see where John Scalzi got his inspiration for Old Man's War from this novel. It's fun to have read that and then read this. There were definitely times I thought "This is not a novel, this is a bunch of ranting" and "This would have a hard time getting published today, because of all the parts where the plot doesn't move". Not that that matters, I'm sure these were the reasons it became popular. I recommend Old Man's War first. Then if you liked that, read this. It's like seeing the special features for Old Man's War.
The Astonishing Adventures of Fanboy & Goth Girl by Barry Lyga
Another YA novel. Somewhere along my writing research I stumbled upon Barry Lyga's journal, who was giving a series of posts on writing advice. There wasn't a lot here that wasn't new to me, but I did like the conversational style he used. It reminded me of Jim C. Hines, but aimed at the younger. So I thought I might try one of his books. Like Starship Troopers, I needed something short and available, and this was it. Plus the story idea appealed to me--goth girls were one of my adolescent fantasies.
But what struck me was how similar it was to "Blood: I Live Again". A disaffected loser who does nothing but introspect and whine forms a relationship with an unstable goth girl. Hilarity ensues. Of course, saying the two are similar are like saying "Old Man's War" and "Avatar" are similar. But as I was reading it, I thought "This is what Blood: ILA would've been like if it had been publishable." That's what made it the most fun, but that's a characteristic that can only appeals to me.
Now I'm a Barry Lyga fan, and I plan to read more of his novels soon.
Sausagey Santa by Carlton Mellick III
After Shatnerquake was done with its one free day, Burk saw how well it did and offered a bunch more. This time for a longer interim. There was a lot to choose from, so I selected one that fit the season.
This one is even weirder. It's exactly what it says on the tin. Santa is made of sausage. His fingers are vienna sausages, and his head's a big bratwurst. According to the novel, he was immortal but he got sick of living forever. But all his suicide attempts failed. So he fed himself through a meat grinder. This still didn't work so his enslaving elves transformed him into sausage so he could move around.
This is not the weird part.
The weird part comes from the main character who is married to a dominatrix who wants to be a Transformer, has a child who has some sort of growth in her head, twins that are forever strapped to his wife's back, who get their limbs lopped off in the battle with Frosty the snowman, Santa's mortal enemy who controls coffee birds--flying amorphous blobs of congealed hatred.
Also there's sex with elves using extra-dimensional panties.
I think that's all I need to say.
The Road by Cormac McCarthy
Didn't intend to read this one. I had finished the book I brought to the hospital during the birth, and needed something else to read. So I stopped in the gift shop and looked for something. Lots of chick lit I didn't want to read. Lots of covers with roses and quaint cottages. But then I saw the dismal visage of Viggo Mortensen staring at me from the third row. It was the closest to science fiction they had, but I had seen the trailer for the movie and thought it was neat, and I like apocalypse fiction. So I bought it for $7.99.
I don't often read literary novels. Really, it's just a road movie of a father and his son (who are never named) as they trek across a decimated country (they never say why, but I think it's nuclear winter). The style is extremely simple, there are a lot of section breaks, but no chapters. I thought the story was realistic, but never particularly engaging. Maybe because no one has a name. I saw a few instances of literary no-no's (a switch to first person, some telling, some wool-gathering) and I never really felt I needed to see how it ended (because it was obvious from page 1), but I was intrigued to see what happened next before they got there. There are no spectacular events, it's really more of a log of what happened--they find some food, they meet an old man, they sleep, they walk, they eat some peaches out of a can.
I didn't particularly like it, but I didn't feel like I wasted my time either.
The Æsop For Children by Aesop (I think)
I liked this one better than Grimm's Fairy Tales because A) they're all super short, great for reading a teeny bit at a time and B) the language is much more understandable. But like Grimm's Fairy Tales, the stories get repetitive after a while. They're all moral lessons, and they fall under three categories: evil is its own ruin, be honest and don't lie, don't be vain, greedy, or prideful. Consequences of failing to heed lessons A, B, and C will result in you being eaten by a tiger 90% of the time.
Midnight Girl by Will Shetterly
A free e-book. I can't remember where I heard of it from. Must've been Boing Boing, since that's my usual source for the free e-Book movement. Like most other e-Books, this one is science fiction and has a low buzz. Unlike most e-Books, this one's YA, and it's actually pretty good. To a point. It's about a young girl who discovers that her mother is a vampire/werewolf/shapeshifter thingy and her father is a vampire/werewolf/shapeshifter thingy hunter, and that she's destined to end the war between the two families.
The dialogue is quick-witted, and there are some good parts to the book, like when the main character is forced to suck blood for the first time, an act that's almost guaranteed to kill the person due to the initial bloodlust, and she finds her best friend is forced to be her first victim, so they have to figure out a way around the binding spell. And when the council of families on her father's side decide they must kill her to save everyone, and she willingly volunteers (a sixteen-year-old!) to be killed for the good of everyone.
I borrowed this one from my mom, along with the rest of the "His Dark Materials" trilogy. It is a long read, and it reminds me of those early modern literatures that expound a lot of philosophy along with the story (i.e., students go to a coffee shop and wax poetical about the nature of something while nursing the drunken one-night stand they had ). Not that I'm saying the story is pretentious. It's not. But it is long-winded.
The storyline is good and the writing style is quite palatable. It made me feel smart to read this book, even though I was reading it for the pure fantasy and "what happened next/behind the scenes" of The Wizard of Oz. That's the problem with this book. It's got a lot of intelligent messages about art, science, politics, and the nature of evil. Pretty Shakespearean stuff. But it sacrifices the fantastic elements for these dialogues.
Plus, it violates the Wizard of Oz canon, and I can't get past that. You can add stuff to the universe, but you can't change the existing universe. Especially one that's as iconic as the Wizard of Oz. I don't care if you change the 400 other Oz books, you can't change the first one. You cannot say the Winged Monkeys were made through biological alchemy by the Wicked Witch. They were controlled through a magic cap, and created as a wedding gift. The Tin Woodsman was not created the way he was (although Maguire tries to nod towards continuity with this, it fails to incorporate all established canon). The novel can't decide if it's pulling from the book or the movie (look at the witch's appearance) and the final confrontation with Dorothy is all wrong.
These glaring errors pull you out of the story, but most of them don't occur until the end. I'm really not sure whether to recommend this one or not. But for me, I know I don't want to play in this universe again. Maybe wait for the movie-musical in 2011.
The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman
The thickened conclusion to the story of some little kids trying to kill God... but in a good way. It feels like Pullman was trying to pad out the novel here, and time he should have spent wrapping up storylines was spent with meaningless non-obstacles. Will gets drunk on vodka with no consequences. The dimension-skipping knife breaks, only to be easily repaired with no consequences. Going to the land of the dead and freeing everyone, with no consequences to the main plot. It seems Pullman needed space to put in the subplots. It made the story drag out, and it's long enough without the filler.
If it wasn't for the padding, would it still be a good story? I don't know. I guess I didn't really care for this piece, or the trilogy. I felt like I had to read it to find out what happened. I don't know where it went wrong. Maybe it just didn't click with me. Maybe it was too British, maybe it felt too stilted, maybe I couldn't identify with the characters. Ah well, c'est la book.
Fairy Tales by The Brothers Grimm
It's hard to read and repetitive. Every story is a variation of Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, Snow White, or Sleeping Beauty. There's lots of long paragraphs, little dialogue, and the narrative does little to evoke imagination. Everything happens in sets of threes, and I know nothing is going to happen the first two times, so I would just skip to the third.
Every story is the same. Someone goes out into the world to seek fortune, marry someone, or defeat evil. He/she collects some magic artifacts. Something happens based on wordplay or puns. Then he's told not to do something, and inevitably, he does it. Because where would the plot be if anyone actually followed directions? Otherwise we wouldn't have Gremlins. Go see the Disney versions.
The Mermaid's Madness by Jim C. Hines
I was really looking forward to this one, and not just because it dovetails with my own mermaid story. The mermaid fiction that isn't a rehash of The Little Mermaid is few and far between, unless it has more mush or turns mermaids into horrible sea monsters. Before I start let me just say I love me some Jim C. Hines. He's a cool guy and the writer I can most relate to in this world. I like his work.
But the story left me dissatisfied, maybe because my hopes were too high. It's an action-oriented plot, meaning characterization and plot get pushed to the background. There's lots of pirate ship fights, tense trespassings into enemy territory, and hand-to-hand or magic-to-magic combat. That means there's no neat revelations or "oh crap" moments that provoke an emotional reaction and make the plot page turning like The Hunger Games did.
The characters are great, but I wished they had been explored more. And I felt he was padding near the end (maybe because I know he was padding near the end because he wrote it on his blog). Maybe it's just me, but I wanted to see more of the mermaid world. He had a great antagonist--Ariel made into a serial killer--and it looked like he was going to do a good job with her, but then she was reduced to a mewling, muttering straitjacket-wearer huddled up in a tower. Her potential as an enemy ended up largely ignored, and heroes are only as good as their enemies. 3.5 stars.
Makers by Cory Doctorow
Doctorow's latest (free) release steers away from the singularity science-fiction & urban fantasy and returns to base roots--boys with toys. The story chronicles two Makers, people who build random DIY stuff just to see if they can, like a hive of Tickle-Me-Elmos that collectively drive a golf cart. Eventually they create some sort of "ride" that garners worldwide attention, including Disney Parks, who wants to tear them apart, steal their ideas, and sue them to the short-and-curlies. Along the way, Doctorow interjects some singularity elements like drastic weight-loss medical procedures, 3-D printers, and advancements in shantytowns.
I don't think it's as good as Little Brother. There's not as much tension, and the plot meanders. Lord does it meander. The first part, with the boom and bust of the Makers, acts more like a prologue. There's no real unifying goal for the protagonists to achieve (except maybe to be left alone so they can build their things). It's treated more like obstacle, overcome, obstacle, overcome. And the final resolution seems deus ex--the bad guy spontaneously learns the error of his ways and converts. Plus I don't get the "ride". Is it a museum? A fictional exhibit? A sort of play? And some things suffer from "24" disease. It would be nice to see communication and events happen so fast, but I don't think that's realistic.
Don't get me wrong, it's a good book. It and Mermaid's Madness were probably the two best books I read this quarter. But the story is more like a serial than a novel, and I'm no big fan of serials.
Shatnerquake by Jeff Burk
This book was offered for free for one day from Jeff Burk's website. I unfortunately did not get to download it, because I read my blogs in the morning. And by the time I saw it, the offer was already over. So I had to procure this book through... different means (I mean, seriously, one day? Come on).
I'd heard about Shatnerquake from Wil Wheaton, so I was excited to read this. I was surprised at how short it was. It's more of a novelette than a novel. It reads at warp speed. Of course, I don't think it's meant to be taken as serious literature, since the story is about how all of William Shatner's previous roles come to life at a William Shatner convention to attack William Shatner in a devious plot conceived by (wait for it) Bruce Campbell fans.
There's weirdness and there's funness. I think I liked this book, but it was so weird that I'm not sure. There's a lot of Crowning Moments of Awesome, like when James T. Kirk takes out a room of fanboys with a light saber. The only fatal flaw is that it's not very serious. It's a little trashy, and definitely throwaway. I'm reminded of the old days of pulp fiction. This is definitely it. Of course, I want to read more.
Starship Troopers by Robert A. Heinlein
I can't remember why I got this particular book at this particular time from the library. I think I needed some short books because my second daughter was about to born and I didn't want to get into anything epic or long that I might forget about in case I couldn't read it for two weeks. So YA would work. Also, I think I needed to get it quickly and this was on the shelf.
This was not the novel I expected it to be. It's minimal on the action, minimal on the science fiction. It's a lot more like A) essays on militarism and citizenship and B) the story of a man's military career, which doesn't include much combat. There's not much science fiction stuff here, at least nothing plot-centric. It's more on the periphery, with the space stuff, aliens, and some military tech. You could take that out and easily make it a literary novel.
I can definitely see where John Scalzi got his inspiration for Old Man's War from this novel. It's fun to have read that and then read this. There were definitely times I thought "This is not a novel, this is a bunch of ranting" and "This would have a hard time getting published today, because of all the parts where the plot doesn't move". Not that that matters, I'm sure these were the reasons it became popular. I recommend Old Man's War first. Then if you liked that, read this. It's like seeing the special features for Old Man's War.
The Astonishing Adventures of Fanboy & Goth Girl by Barry Lyga
Another YA novel. Somewhere along my writing research I stumbled upon Barry Lyga's journal, who was giving a series of posts on writing advice. There wasn't a lot here that wasn't new to me, but I did like the conversational style he used. It reminded me of Jim C. Hines, but aimed at the younger. So I thought I might try one of his books. Like Starship Troopers, I needed something short and available, and this was it. Plus the story idea appealed to me--goth girls were one of my adolescent fantasies.
But what struck me was how similar it was to "Blood: I Live Again". A disaffected loser who does nothing but introspect and whine forms a relationship with an unstable goth girl. Hilarity ensues. Of course, saying the two are similar are like saying "Old Man's War" and "Avatar" are similar. But as I was reading it, I thought "This is what Blood: ILA would've been like if it had been publishable." That's what made it the most fun, but that's a characteristic that can only appeals to me.
Now I'm a Barry Lyga fan, and I plan to read more of his novels soon.
Sausagey Santa by Carlton Mellick III
After Shatnerquake was done with its one free day, Burk saw how well it did and offered a bunch more. This time for a longer interim. There was a lot to choose from, so I selected one that fit the season.
This one is even weirder. It's exactly what it says on the tin. Santa is made of sausage. His fingers are vienna sausages, and his head's a big bratwurst. According to the novel, he was immortal but he got sick of living forever. But all his suicide attempts failed. So he fed himself through a meat grinder. This still didn't work so his enslaving elves transformed him into sausage so he could move around.
This is not the weird part.
The weird part comes from the main character who is married to a dominatrix who wants to be a Transformer, has a child who has some sort of growth in her head, twins that are forever strapped to his wife's back, who get their limbs lopped off in the battle with Frosty the snowman, Santa's mortal enemy who controls coffee birds--flying amorphous blobs of congealed hatred.
Also there's sex with elves using extra-dimensional panties.
I think that's all I need to say.
The Road by Cormac McCarthy
Didn't intend to read this one. I had finished the book I brought to the hospital during the birth, and needed something else to read. So I stopped in the gift shop and looked for something. Lots of chick lit I didn't want to read. Lots of covers with roses and quaint cottages. But then I saw the dismal visage of Viggo Mortensen staring at me from the third row. It was the closest to science fiction they had, but I had seen the trailer for the movie and thought it was neat, and I like apocalypse fiction. So I bought it for $7.99.
I don't often read literary novels. Really, it's just a road movie of a father and his son (who are never named) as they trek across a decimated country (they never say why, but I think it's nuclear winter). The style is extremely simple, there are a lot of section breaks, but no chapters. I thought the story was realistic, but never particularly engaging. Maybe because no one has a name. I saw a few instances of literary no-no's (a switch to first person, some telling, some wool-gathering) and I never really felt I needed to see how it ended (because it was obvious from page 1), but I was intrigued to see what happened next before they got there. There are no spectacular events, it's really more of a log of what happened--they find some food, they meet an old man, they sleep, they walk, they eat some peaches out of a can.
I didn't particularly like it, but I didn't feel like I wasted my time either.
The Æsop For Children by Aesop (I think)
I liked this one better than Grimm's Fairy Tales because A) they're all super short, great for reading a teeny bit at a time and B) the language is much more understandable. But like Grimm's Fairy Tales, the stories get repetitive after a while. They're all moral lessons, and they fall under three categories: evil is its own ruin, be honest and don't lie, don't be vain, greedy, or prideful. Consequences of failing to heed lessons A, B, and C will result in you being eaten by a tiger 90% of the time.
Midnight Girl by Will Shetterly
A free e-book. I can't remember where I heard of it from. Must've been Boing Boing, since that's my usual source for the free e-Book movement. Like most other e-Books, this one is science fiction and has a low buzz. Unlike most e-Books, this one's YA, and it's actually pretty good. To a point. It's about a young girl who discovers that her mother is a vampire/werewolf/shapeshifter thingy and her father is a vampire/werewolf/shapeshifter thingy hunter, and that she's destined to end the war between the two families.
The dialogue is quick-witted, and there are some good parts to the book, like when the main character is forced to suck blood for the first time, an act that's almost guaranteed to kill the person due to the initial bloodlust, and she finds her best friend is forced to be her first victim, so they have to figure out a way around the binding spell. And when the council of families on her father's side decide they must kill her to save everyone, and she willingly volunteers (a sixteen-year-old!) to be killed for the good of everyone.
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