I think I can say I'm in official slump right now. Nothing about this story seems very exciting to me anymore. I stare at the page, and tap my fingers on the keyboard, hoping something comes back. It just doesn't have the same zip and zeal that I had when I first started it. It's like after I got done with the first part, it just fell off the excitement wagon, and it just became an allegory. Maybe it's just too long. I'm now clocked in at 64,000 words. If I complete all the other scenes I've got planned (and just those scenes). I'll end up at 88,000 words, and that will only be half the piece. Making the total 176,000 words. 25,000 more than my last piece. And it doesn't even have the things I want it to have, like dream sequences, and I totally forgot about the spiral eyes. These are all great bits, and I wish I could fit them in, but there just doesn't seem anymore room now. This is fucking war and peace.
Jesus Christ, what the hell is wrong with me? Is this a consequence of outlining? Even a little bit? This is ridiculous. No publisher would accept a 176,000 word piece from a newbie author. That's what disappoints me. It burns me out.
Now I just want to get it done. It feels like I'm just going through the motions now, chucking shit in just so I can get to the ending. And when I get there, I'm not even sure if it's going to be exciting. Other little voices in the back of my head tell me to shelf it. To start on a new work. Others say write Ash's storyline until you get bored with that, then come back. But I just feel that I shouldn't ruin my momentum on this. I've only got six or so more scenes to write, but that includes the ending, which I'd hate to be lackluster. Other voices say quit writing for a while, let your creative juices flow back up. Stephen King says not to do this, that you need to write every day (even Christmas). I wonder if other writers follow that advice.
Do I need a refresher? Do I need to reapproach this with a clearer head? Do I need a break? Write something else in the meantime? Does this burning out mean I'm done with the story? What do other writers do? What do I need to do? Do I keep writing for the sake of finishing it? Or do I take a break, lose time, but come back with a better product?
Labels: Black Hole Son, writer's block