Avatar Revised

I finally got to revise Avatar. I figured I had to do it sometime, damn all the obstacles and time constraints. I managed to read it all at once, but I feel like I revised it wrong. I was trying to be a reader, but I feel like I scrutinized it too carefully and lost the reading flow. It went back to how I used to revise, but without adding anything in. It's not a bad story. I feel like there's a gem under here, but it's buried in a bunch of dirt.

My main complaint is that it feels like a fable for kids. It's not complex enough, the characters are archetypes and talk like a Golden Book character. It even has a moral at the end that's obvious enough you could bump your head on it. But I think its good enough to keep working on it. Publishable? Well, I'd publish it, but that's just me. Time will tell if the editors are kind to me. Besides, gotta get my foot in the door sometime.

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