Things Indiana Jones Can't Do

• Have a love interest who is the same love interest from a previous adventure


• Fall in love with said love interest


• Get married


• Fight aliens


• Survive a waterfall drop from heights in the thousands of feet, let alone three


• Like Ike


• Be investigated/interrogated by the FBI


• Have a son


• Have a son who wandered off the Grease movie lot


• Go into the undisclosed warehouse where the "top men" are


• Have triple-agent friends who don't figure into the plot at all


• Go into temples with load-bearing aliens


• Reenact the chase from Back to the Future, except with a motorcycle instead of a skateboard


• Have Shia LeBoueouef (or however it's spelled) show him up


• Be a grumpy old man, instead of a brash, lovable hero


• Have his dad die


• Have the bad guy die in exactly the same way as in the first movie (don't contest it, you know it's the same concept - person tries to seize ultimate power and is melted by the sheer force of that power)


• Use CGI anything (especially gophers)

Labels: movies