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Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Pawn Stars Lies


Okay. Television. There's a lot of reasons why you're having trouble getting viewers. TiVo, over-saturation of options (not just cable, but Internet too), stilted writers, lengthy commercial breaks, piracy, and a slew of other things. So you've got to do your best to make people watch. Here's the quickest way to get me not to watch.

Lie to me.

Para ejemplo, I was watching Pawn Stars the other night. During one of the commercial teasers, they were talking about a jet fighter G-Suit someone brought in, and they showed the "expert" they always bring in looking around it and it ends with: "And what's this under the helmet?".

I, being an idiot, wanted to see what was under the helmet, despite the fact I have no interest in jet fighters, G-Suits, pawn shops, or historical artifacts. Maybe it was the cold I have talking. I was hoping it was a secret note from a past lover.

When they came back from break, they didn't go to the G-Suit right away. They went to some police badge (BTW, why do they only show the people trying to sell stuff? I want to see the people who buy this crap). And they go on and on, and then back to the G-suit. They go through the sale and they don't do the "And what's this under the helmet?" thing.

The rest of the show goes on, so I figure, maybe this'll be something one of the fat cronies discovers later. Maybe it'll be the stinger over the credits. I sit through another long commercial break where the History Channel advertises all its shows that have nothing to do with history.

And the episode eventually falls to a close with the big fat guy sleeping in his chair.
I'm pretty sure he's some kind of Star Wars alien
Man was I pissed. Never am I going to forget how I wasted my time waiting to see what was under helmet and got diddly-bop in return. Fuck you, show. You can do whatever you want to me, but if you fail to deliver on what you promised, you can suck it. This isn't like movie trailers where you have scenes that are just for the trailer (although I don't much care for that either). It's like writing -- you make an agreement to the reader on page one that this is going to be what the story's going to be about, this is the writing style, these are the characters. Failure to adhere to that agreement results in you sucking.

Thanks, Pawn Stars. You have lost a viewer.
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