Satellite Salespeople Douchebags

So my wife was recently calling around to satellite companies (like Dish Network and Direct TV) trying to find a replacement for Mediacom and it's crappy customer service (newsflash: there is no suitable replacement - it's a monopoly).

But the ineptitude of the people she was talking to was astounding. All she had was two questions: What's their fastest speed and are they available in our area. Yet she had to spend hours on the phone with them while they checked out packages and deals and twenty-four hour sales that absolutely had to be gotten at this very moment or you'll regret it forever.

I don't get it. We live in a day and age where we can see through the bullshit. How do companies still think this kind of hard sell, with fast talk and dealing days, doesn't turn customers off? The worst part was this exchange.

SALESMAN: So as part of the deal, let's just check your credit score... [what this has to do with anything, I don't know] ... wow... wow... your credit score is really high. Really high.

MY WIFE: Uh-huh.

SALESMAN: Wow, you should be proud of that.

MY WIFE: Uh-huh.

SALESMAN: ... well, aren't you proud of that.

MY WIFE: Not really.

SALESMAN: Aren't you happy about that?

MY WIFE: Not really. Because I've been on the phone with you for two hours and I'm tired of talking to people.


I love it. The salespeople are totally caught off-guard when you give them something real. Something that means the person they're talking to on the other end isn't just a wallet-holder. And besides, why would we feel proud for something we're supposed to have. You're supposed to pay your debts. I figure it's because he sees so much trailer trash trying to get something for nothing.

But man, these guys give the HARD sell. We are perfectly capable of making our decisions -- we contrast and compare and analyze -- and part of that skill means cutting through the bullshit. We know this deal isn't on it's last day. We know what "lightning fast" means and that this is not it. We know the value of a dollar. And dollars can be used to purchase goods and services.

Labels: , ,