Twenty years ago, seeing a bra would have made my day. Now, it’s just… laundry.
— Tycho Brahe (@TychoBrahe) March 10, 2013
Debating with @ElisaInTime over whether or not vampires poop. I think they totally do. #vampirepoop
— Lindsay Ellis (@thelindsayellis) March 11, 2013
That's it. I'm going to start telling non-Catholics that the Pope is actually a Time Lord. He's on his 266th regeneration.
— Antonella Inserra (@Nellachronism) March 13, 2013
A person should only ever suffer for what they do to their own body, NOT for what someone does to theirs. #steubenville #commonFUCKINGsense
— Antonella Inserra (@Nellachronism) March 20, 2013
I think I speak for everyone when I say I demand more Duke of Lemongrab episodes.
— ToddInTheShadows (@ShadowTodd) March 26, 2013
parents. Do little girls know that the noise they make for "I'm playing outside and having fun" is the same noise for "I'm being murdered?"
— Scott Kurtz (@pvponline) April 4, 2013
If I could go back and give my younger self a piece of advice, I'd say "never let your past self see you", then BOOM paradox
— Wonderella (@wonderella) April 24, 2013
That which does not kill you isn't finished.
— Dana Gould (@DanaJGould) May 17, 2013
"On one end of the candle is a small string. Can you find that?" - Luddite tech-support call.
— Dana Gould (@DanaJGould) May 25, 2013
#Art begins in a wound, an imperfection, and is an attempt either to learn to live with the wound or to heal it. JOHN GARDNER #literature
— Jon Winokur (@AdviceToWriters) June 21, 2013
If we can't get justice, at least we got heroes. #standwithwendy pic.twitter.com/Q3FA5NzRCU
— Joss Whedon (@josswhedon) June 26, 2013
@thelindsayellis going to the theater shouldn't feel like walking to my doom. *saddles up* #loneranger
— Antonella Inserra (@Nellachronism) July 9, 2013
"He just had a spray can! Let him go!" Fair enough. Until it's your car.
— Noah Antwiler (@TheSpoonyOne) August 11, 2013
Dear Avengers: Thor can instantly stop Loki by gently resting the hammer on him. Just an FYI before you ruin New York again
— Wonderella (@wonderella) August 11, 2013
The Teen Choice Awards? Those exist? My god. I wouldn't trust the majority of American teens not to drink ammonia if Glee told them to.
— Noah Antwiler (@TheSpoonyOne) August 12, 2013
I'd rather a work of art be an interesting failure than a risk-averse mediocrity. It's hard to get excited about mere competency.
— Dexter Palmer (@dexterauthor) August 18, 2013
Is the phrase "insecure writer" redundant?
— Lindsay Ellis (@thelindsayellis) August 22, 2013
I don't wanna piss off anyone who might know bomb codes, so Chelsea Manning it is.
— Wonderella (@wonderella) August 25, 2013
WHO bans books? In my experience, attention-seeking busybodies with poor contextual reading skills.
— Maureen Johnson (@maureenjohnson) September 23, 2013
Hey @hulu, your ads are NEVER relevant to me. Even if they were I'd hit 'no' all day long because I'm sick of your shit.
— Josh Johnson (@JoshtheSandwich) September 25, 2013
Down with "Women in _____" conferances. Up with women in "_____ conferences"
— Molly Crabapple (@mollycrabapple) October 4, 2013
Remember to believe in magic, or I'll kill you.
— ToddInTheShadows (@ShadowTodd) November 4, 2013
How about when @morgmorgjean22 started crying after 2 minutes cuz Katniss trapped a bunny LOLOLOLOLOL
— Kels (@KelseyJean15) November 22, 2013
Apparently, McRib is back. Which makes me wonder where McRib goes when it's not here.
— Kevin Br-r-r-rphy (@kwmurphy) November 25, 2013
"My meal came with too much guacamole" - no one
— pleatedjeans (@pleatedjeans) November 25, 2013
I DONT CARE WHAT MCDONALDS CHICKEN NUGGETS ARE MADE OF SO TELL ME ALL U WANT THEY ARE GOOD AS HELL AND IM GONNA EAT THEM
— what (@fuckch4rlie) December 1, 2013
"The greatest hope in life is being remembered beyond your death." -Unknown
— Rob DenBleyker (@RobDenBleyker) December 3, 2013
@wilw Man, The Wall has *nothing* on Wisconsin. Let me tell you....
— Pat Rothfuss (@PatrickRothfuss) December 8, 2013
Westboro Baptist wants to protest Mandela's funeral in S. Africa, with no U.S. Constitutional protections... stop, wait, don't.
— Wonderella (@wonderella) December 9, 2013
Photo: Kerry Callen explains what happened right BEFORE that iconic moment on the cover of Action Comics... http://t.co/bgzzoPd1Ys
— Chris Roberson (@chris_roberson) December 9, 2013
There's no writer in the world who doesn't get bad reviews. Check out one-star reviews of your faves. Even Jane Austen is hated.
— Justine Larbalestier (@JustineLavaworm) December 10, 2013
In my experience, "short, fun" things are more difficult to write than "long, not-fun-at-all" things.
— Rainbow Rowell (@rainbowrowell) December 12, 2013
As I lay dying, I'm pretty sure my last wish will be: Dear God, please don't let anyone more famous than me croak today.
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) December 16, 2013
Hating people is a lifestyle choice.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) December 19, 2013
Apparently the high temp here next Monday will be - 2F. Seriously, what the hell. And no, Minnesotans, I don't want to hear from you.
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) January 3, 2014
No scene in any horror movie I've watched has bothered me as much as that poor little shoe getting dissolved in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit".
— Marko Kloos (@markokloos) January 6, 2014
Someday we'll all have some clearcut idea how we're supposed to treat great artists who are awful people, but we sure don't have one yet.
— ToddInTheShadows (@ShadowTodd) January 13, 2014
Let's play a game @KelseyJean15 @morgmorgjean22 pic.twitter.com/JKWdU1kaoC
— Katie Anderson (@Katielynnnn77) January 13, 2014
A FEMALE spider who is literate and can spin words in her web but we celebrate the MALE pig who does nothing...wow, guys.
— Mike Scollins (@mikescollins) January 14, 2014
I guess what I'm saying is: I think as readers, when we meet a fat protagonist, we expect weight loss to be part of their journey ...
— Rainbow Rowell (@rainbowrowell) January 23, 2014
That is not a journey I am interested in chronicling.
— Rainbow Rowell (@rainbowrowell) January 23, 2014
Atlanta calls 2" of snow a horrible disaster, in MN we call 6" of snow and whiteout conditions late for work @MNproblems
— Koen Baglien (@koenbaglien) January 30, 2014
My favorite X-MEN movie is definitely FROZEN.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) January 31, 2014
Like I just snorted raspberry tobacco from a girl at a German bar.
— Morgan Hespenheide (@morgmorgjean22) February 1, 2014
Some of these flag holders need to watch Les Miz and learn how to work a f*cking flag! #Sochi2014 #ONEDAYMORE
— Michael Buckley (@shutupbuck) February 8, 2014
Still pack my carry ons like I did when I was 7 & terrified of 5 minutes of boredom. Only difference is now I knit. #MORECRAYONS #MOREBOOKS
— Antonella Inserra (@Nellachronism) February 8, 2014
'Flappy Birds' is pulled from Apple's App Store, Android's Google Play platform, as creator cites stress - @mashable http://t.co/Ib2mVNjk3q
— Breaking News (@BreakingNews) February 9, 2014
Is it weird that I actually love going to school now?
— Morgan Hespenheide (@morgmorgjean22) February 19, 2014
Egon, but not forgotten.
— Jeff Wysaski (@pleatedjeans) February 24, 2014
I made so many friends on the cruise this past week, and to know I'll never see them again is just the worst kind of feeling.
— Athena Scalzi (@AScalzi98) March 1, 2014